I have a weird new summer tradition.

I use the word “tradition” lightly. It’s the second summer in a row. But it’s becoming a tradition.

Central Alabama summers are hot. And humid. Mostly humid. But also mostly hot. Brutally so.

So I like to stay indoors as much as I can. Which led me to my summer tradition:
Watching the Tour de France.

I know nothing about cycling. Or at least, I didn’t before watching “the Tour,” as we’ve now shortened it in our home.

In fact, I haven’t ridden a bike more than a few yards since I wrecked with my mom on a bike in middle school. (Can someone say “unprocessed trauma?”)

But I LOVE watching the Tour de France. I’m a sucker for sports, passion, good storylines, and a flair for the dramatic. All of which are amply present in the Tour.

Now, granted, I’m not ALL in on the Tour… I haven’t watched every single minute of every single stage. But give me a break… I’ve watched about half the stages in their full length (3-5ish hours) and all the rest of the stages’ 30-ish minute summaries.

In Stage 7 this year, the riders competed in the first of two Individual Time Trials. That’s when, instead of all riding in a large bunch (the “peloton,” as I’ve learned) with occasional “breakaways” (now I’m just flexing my cycling knowledge), the riders race one-at-a-time and whoever gets from the start line to the finish line is the winner of the stage.

From start to finish, an individual’s ride is comparatively very short, about 30 minutes of non-stop pedaling.

It’s aggressive. It’s exhilarating. It’s action-packed.

Which is why I was surprised to see one rider, French cyclist Julien Bernard, looking like he was out for a Sunday stroll halfway through his ride.

In a race where every second counts, he even started amping up the crowd, high-fiving them and swinging his arms around to get the crowd to keep cheering.

What is he doing?! I thought

Granted, not every rider is out there to win that stage. Some are really bad Individual Time Trial cyclists and just try to get from start to finish without incident.

But still… In my two Tour de France’s, I had never seen anything like this. What was he doing??

But then I started seeing the crowd go crazy. They were holding pictures of his face. They were closing in on him, as if they were going to stop his ride.

And they did. They stopped Julien Bernard from cycling.

Little did I know it was just 30 minutes from Bernard’s home. And as he stopped… well, just see for yourself:

How awesome is that?! Julien Bernard pausing in the middle of one of the most grueling sporting events in the world to kiss his wife and bid bonjour to his kid.

And for that gesture, he was fined.

You heard me right. Julien Bernard was fined for kissing his wife and child during the Tour de France.

What was his grave offense? As the Union Cycliste Internationale (UCI), the sport’s governing body ruled: “Unseemly or inappropriate behaviour during the race and damage to the image of the sport.”

Ridiculous.

And apparently, I’m not alone. The UCI has been mocked for this fine (along with other fines throughout the Tour).

And for good reason.

Mind you, the fine was small (roughly 233 USD) but to call this special moment a “unseemly or inappropriate behaviour” is asinine.

Integration

The fine made me think about something near and dear to my family. Several years ago, my wife and I spent some time discerning what values God has given us as a family.

One of our values is: Integration.

We further explain this value as the following:

We believe God is a God of integration, not separation or division; and through Him, our lives can also be integrated.
We will aim to choose that which brings us together instead of separating us. Our family is stronger when we incorporate multiple generations. Ever team member has a part to play in every part of life. Scripture can and should be applied to every part of our life. We will do our part to bring together all voices in the life of the church.

While the UCI’s fine is absurd, I think it highlights something true about culture: We don’t integrate our family into our work.

Everybody’s situation is different, but for the vast majority of people, work is a place we “go to” away from the place we live and sleep and spend time with our kids.

There’s even a strange phenomenon among young people. We disintegrate our work so much that we’ve come up with the concept of “work spouses,” those people we enjoy spending the most time with at work.

It didn’t always used to be this way.

For the vast majority of the history of the world, work and family were integrated. Farmers would work the fields next to sons and daughters. Carpenters would go to the workshop out back with their children and teach them the trade. Shopkeepers would sell their goods right under their bedroom and living rooms.

Even after the Industrial Revolution, when it became commonplace to work away from your family, there was still a level of integration happening. Little Jimmy would beam with pride as he’d point to a Model T and say, “My daddy helped make that” and Little Georgine would say, “Mine too!”

Now, we work jobs that our kids don’t understand with people they don’t know in places they’ve never been.

I’m not being critical of the world we live in, where most of our jobs are building intangible assets our children don’t understand. The world has changed. So be it.

But in the world we live in now, it’s going to take a lot more intentionality to integrate our families into our work.

Wait… Why Integrate?

Why would we even integrate our families into our work? What’s the big deal?

Discipleship Opportunities

First and foremost, it’s an opportunity to teach and disciple your children. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Scripture seems to indicate that the best way to teach truth to your children is to involve them in as many parts of your life as you can. Not only does this mean that you get to teach them the truths about God, but you get to teach them truth about life.

My dad was excellent at integrating my family into his work. He works in a family real estate business, so we were always welcome in the office where our uncles, grandparents, and other coworkers that were basically family worked. In being around work conversations and driving with him to and from showings, I’d learn about business and work and finances and life. So much so that I could’ve taught you all about supply and demand by the time I was 10 and how interest rates affect real estate prices by the time I was 15.

Helping Kids Understand

Secondly, it helps your kids know why you disappear for 40+ hours a week. Let’s be honest: When your kids don’t understand what it is that you do and how you’re helping to make the world a better place, they feel like you’re choosing to leave them to go spend time with other people.

Help your kids realize what you do at work. Conversations about the impact of your work and how making money helps you provide for your kids helps them see work as a good thing, not a bad thing.

Reminding You What Matters

Since having a kid, I’ve realized that I spend more time on what actually matters in my work. I realize that each extra hour I spend at work is an hour I spend away from my family. So when work that isn’t “mission critical” comes to me, I either ignore it or do it as quickly as possible.

Also, in integrating my children into my work, I’m reminding myself that I’m a father even when I’m at work. The sermons and small group lessons I’m preparing are shaping the world my children will grow up in. The military mission you’re preparing for helps to make the world a safer place for your children to grow up in. The car that you’re engineering is creating a cleaner world for your children to grow up in.

When we realize that we are fathers and mothers even when we’re at work, it refocuses our mindset towards that which matters most for creating a better world.

But How?

How do we integrate our families into the workplace?

Frankly, it all depends on your situation. Each situation is different. I’ve worked in settings where spouses and children weren’t welcome. And just hours before writing this, my wife and child joined me while I was at work at Vacation Bible School.

But here are some ways I’ve begun and am planning on integrating my family into my work to inspire ideas for you.

Bring the family along

Are you able to bring your kids to work with you for any amount of time? Have you even thought about it?

Obviously, this isn’t possible in every situation. But think: If I had to bring my kids to work for one hour this week, when would I bring them? How would I do that?

Then try it out. If you think, My kids would never behave enough to be at work, then practice at home. Tell them that you’re bringing them to work and teach them how to behave. Set up scenarios at home for them to practice with you.

Another reason why integration is so important is because it teaches kids how to interact with adults and teaches adults how to interact with kids, both of have become rare in our disintegrated culture.

Do you drive a lot for work? Bring your kids with you in the car. Do you work in an office? Take your kids by the office and give them a tour. Do you have coworkers? Invite a coworker and their family over for dinner.

There are many times when it wouldn’t be appropriate to bring my family with me to work. But recently, when going to visit a couple at home, I asked if I could bring my wife and 9-month-old along. All of us loved it and I got to integrate my family and work. One day, my child will know some of what Dad does because she’s done it with Dad.

Tell your kids about work

Talk with your kids about your work. Don’t vent or complain and make them loathe your work. But teach them.

Oh, but that’s so boring. They wouldn’t care about that. Try it. I bet you’ll be surprised.

Ask your kid: What does Mom/Dad do for work? What does a normal day look like for me?

And then come home and tell them what happened at work.

“I had this really interesting interaction with a client today at work. What would you have said to them?”

“I can’t figure out what’s going wrong with this prototype. Here’s the issue we’re facing.”

“Dad’s boss was really generous this week and asked HR to give me a raise. Do you know how raises work?”

Can you imagine the kinds of conversations that will come from that?? I get excited just thinking about the conversations you’ll have. You may be surprised that they have some really insightful ideas for you.

Be “sent.” Don’t just “go.”

Don’t just rush out the door to go to another day at work. Take one minute to say to your kid: “Dad gets to go help repair someone’s car today. Will you pray for me to help someone who really needs it today?”

“Mom has a meeting today with a new client. Will you ask God to help me have a great conversation with them?”

When kids send off their parents to work, they realize that they’re not being forgotten at home or school. They see their parents accomplishing the mission of their family in the workplace. They actually feel ownership of your job and start to care about how your day goes.

Be honest.

When you come home after being sent out to work, be honest with your kids. Check back in with them.

“Thanks for praying for Mom’s meeting. The new client decided to choose someone else to handle their taxes. I’m disappointed but I learned that I need to do more research before these meetings.”

That one-minute answer just taught your child that 1) you’re not perfect, 2) failure is a learning opportunity, 3) you’re a learner who seeks personal growth, and 4) how to handle disappointment. All by one simple conversation.

Prioritize your family

When your coworkers know who your family is, they start to care about you as a person instead of you as simply an employee.

When you tell your boss that you can’t stay late because you have a baseball game to get to, they tell you to tell Little Timmy “good luck.”

When the CEO asks you to go on a work trip, she knows who will be sacrificing time with you at home.

And when you feel like work is taking too much away from your family, you can remind yourself that your work is an extension of the mission your family is on. If it begins to hurt your family, then you may need to reevaluate that extension of your mission.

Julien Bernard’s Response

In response to his fine, Julien Bernard posted on X: “Sorry @UCI_cycling for having damaged the image of Sport, but I am willing to pay 200CHF every day and relive this moment.”

Good for you, Julien Bernard. Thanks for the memories. And thanks for reminding me about the goodness that happens when work and family collide.

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